My Thoughts Summed Up in a Poem

1st Poem

Difficult
living without reason
without goal
nothing
to fight for
yet grasping for anything
you can hold on to
not willing to give up
and hope

2nd Poem

Time flying
Growing old
Scared
Being abandoned
in this forsaken world
Becoming another outsider
of society
Dying alone in a small room
with just one window
to the outside world
left unwanted
desperate for company

3rd Poem

Let me sleep
escaping this reality
Let me dream
escaping  the boredom of this life
Let me create
escaping to another world
following my own rules
being the one in control
shutting down
before dreading the moment
of waking up

4th Poem

Be cautious
for what is said
words
you cannot take back
feelings of disappointment
unwanted
regret unpleasant
relationships lost
friends becoming
strangers

5th Poem

Greed
consuming body and mind
Leaving
ideals and humanity behind
Another day
in this godforsaken war
hidden eyes
watching from afar
Hunting
like a hungry viper
Waiting
to set the world on fire

6th Poem

Grey skies
raining
blurred mind
motionless
limbs
numb
seeking
warmth
looking through the window
waiting
yearning

7th Poem

Depressing
observing the minds
knowing the truth
understanding the world
seeing the future
knowing what is awaiting us
questioning yourself
trying hard to satisfy
is it worth it?
Knowing the own desires
hidden beneath
waiting to be fulfilled

8th Poem

Being shut off
for knowing the world
Being shut up
for knowing the truth
speaking it out loud
Being ridiculed
by the ignorant
No need to try hard anymore
let this world fall apart
and the illusions shatter

9th Poem

Trusting
risking too much
strings cut
irreversible
never healing
analyzing
hidden thoughts
never telling
play along

10th Poem

Existing
amongst people
faceless
interaction
exhausting
words meaningless
likeable on the surface
truth
hidden beneath
wanting to shine through

11th Poem

Caught up
in the routine of life
Going along
without a care for the world
Functioning
without thinking
Working
without questioning
Human relations
used
for the own benefit
Justice
a matter of power and wealth
This is what we call
Society

12th Poem

Isolated
not belonging
distorted perceptions
hating
being looked down on
judged
for being different
yearning
for the same kind

13th Poem

The world
an open book
Jealousy and intrigue
wherever I look
Meaningless
to live on this ground
let me hide
and never be found

14th Poem

Look up
high into the sky
where you see the light
shining upon you
Never let go
of the dreams
you are reaching out to.

15th Poem

May you see the lights
during the deepest night
May you see the stars
healing your deepest scars
I will be thinking of you
I will be by your side
whenever you need me to

16th Poem

Rattling wind
flickering lights
in the distance
faces grimacing
voices
whispering
soulless words
shadows
lurking
in the night
waiting
for the light
to go out
for the madness
to begin

17th Poem

Days turning gray
getting cold
withering
another year gone
wind slicing
hands shaking
breath
visible
bones numb
counting the days
waiting
to see the colours 
of the sky again

18th Poem

Human’s minds
difficult to comprehend
the own thoughts
a trail
to another world
the risk
of losing yourself
in the pit of imagination
everything else
a blur
reality 
becoming strange

19th Poem

Depression
like a demon
devouring you
difficult
to escape
lack of understanding
not being able
to explain
not even trying
afraid of being
isolated and forgotten

20th Poem

Days monotone
sometimes dreaming
even listening
to the words
flowing without sense
everyone
passing by
without noticing
the turmoil 
burning inside

21th Poem

On different grounds
under the sky
unfolding landscapes
foreign yet familiar
sun blinding
heat burning down
different language
ocean’s night
starry sky
song of wind and waves
salty skin
carefree time
locked memories
my treasure

22nd Poem

Untrustworthy eyes
corrupt minds
show no weakness
going through
these doors
sun burning skin
smell of dust and fuel
waiting
expecting
welcoming hands
yet no place to go
same yet different
bonds nonexistent
I am home, am I?

23rd Poem

Sometimes cold
can’t decide
being nice
people
becoming
dependent
too attached
seeing too much
in a word
in a phrase
feeling cornered
not interested 
in that kind
being mean
being questioned
getting tired
not wanting
to explain

24th Poem

Another shot
it takes
for the world
to look up
for the people
to care
to fuel the
anger
already existing
waiting for the spark
to become
the raging
fire

25th Poem

Cannot sleep
With demons
beneath 
The mind’s a mess
Wanting 
to confess
Yet pretending
Every day’s inspiring
Convincing the mind
to leave the fears behind
All the same, they will return
Leaving any faith to burn

26th Poem

Feeling detached
No need
for emotions
Sometimes too much
Forced 
interaction
Don’t talk anymore
Know
the silence
Deep in the core
Seeking 
guidance
For an unknown world
Hoping
for a change
So many words
The own universe
completely deranged
Losing the ground
Trapped
in a void 
Tied to the sounds
I tried to destroy

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